Heather Dowling

2012-02-04T10:06:00.021-05:00

Today marks seven years of marriage for us. Seven! When I stretch those seven years out in my mind they feel like a wink and a century all in the same pot. It never fails to amaze me how fast life flies by, even though we've been warned countless times by family and friends. At the very same time, I'm in awe of where these seven years have taken us, who we're growing to be, and how much God has shaped the ashes that trail behind the two of us into absolute beauty.
Tomorrow will mark six months. Six months since my baby sister lost her husband. Something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy has happened to a favorite friend. If you saw her today, you would weep. Not for pity's sake or even the sheer volume of sadness in it all. You would weep at the unmistakable grace of God in her life. You would well up inside to hear her speak of forgiveness, loving your enemies, and relying on God's best - even if that means it doesn't line up with what you wanted. It's probably the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. "A crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of His splendor." Isaiah 61:3 This, is His goodness in her life.
Jared's death, and Gina's life have made me look at this seven year anniversary mark in a much brighter light. More than that, they have made me look at my husband and this marriage in a much brighter light. Days are sweeter, moments are more cherished, and I am constantly reminded to never take for granted R.Jay's presence in my life. So, let me tell you just a bit of the wonderfulness that is my husband:

He loves Jesus more than me, and more than the little people we are blessed to raise. This has got to be my most favorite thing about him. He rises early to bathe this family, this home, in prayer. He chooses wisdom and peace in every circumstance. He teaches me countless times how patience, stillness, and prayer is sometimes the heaviest workload of a Christian, but always brings the clearest outcome. He, daily, tells me I'm beautiful and refuses to leave the house or hang up the phone without a heartfelt "I love you". Sometimes just the way he says something makes me laugh until my face truly aches.

He dances with Annabelle almost every evening. I don't mean a little waltz either. A full blown ballet production takes place in the living room with these two and, I'll be honest, I still choke up every single time they dance together. He is constant at encouraging their little hearts and pointing them to Jesus. He is gentle, but firm. He boasts in Bennett's guitar skills and is quick to say yes to a wrestling challenge.

His eyes light up when he speaks of his humble, honorable parents. His gratefulness for them is unmistakable and my gratefulness runs deep too. Their years of shaping him into this wonderful man now pays off in this marriage, this family, and now onto another growing little-man Dowling.

He puts his all in his work. Whether that be in the Church, at his job as a welder/pipefitter, or the (many) projects I find for him around this little house. He is diligent and takes his time at each and every project, no matter the importance.

He never complains. I mean, never. He wears rose-colored glasses around every person he meets. An eternal optimist and loyal to the core. If you talk with our close, small group of friends he holds the title of "Alpha Male'. A wilderness buff who makes knives, shoots guns awfully precise, and can fix and make just about anything. The running joke is that R.Jay only has to glance at problems with a car, house, etc. and they're fixed. Just like that.

There you have it, just a bit of my most favorite things about my most favorite guy. So, here's to being thankful for these seven years of God's best and seven more of growing in Christ, growing as a family, and laughing at lots of "R.Jay-isms"! Happy 7 year anniversary to us!

"And I'd just like to say
I thank God that you're here with me.
And I know you too well to say that you're perfect,
but you'll see, oh my sweet love, you're perfect for me."

Annabelle is four.

2011-11-08T13:25:00.009-05:00

Inexcusably too late, but she's worth the page time even if I'm almost two months behind. After all, this blog is for me to cherish who they are, where they're going, and what we've accomplished. All tucked away in my own little corner of the 'www' to remember and read in years to come.

So here it goes:

My big (little) girl turned 4 years old on September 15th. Her birthday party boasted a whole lot of princess-ness and she lit up the room with all her excitement. After the worst Summer in my friend's and family's history, her princess extravaganza steered us away from sadness and helped us focus on the beauty of life. Her life.

Annabelle is full of life... and drama. I tell R. jay constantly that the very thing I adore about her - the enthusiastic expressions at color/furniture/decor changes, pretty clothes, music, and seeing familiar faces- can sometimes be the thing I pull my hair out over with her - dramatic tears over a scratched knee or food not being placed perfectly on her plate. At the end of each day I still wouldn't change a thing about her.

She loves dress up and probably always will. Most days I can't convince to wear normal clothes. If you stop over at any given moment she will most likely show you her latest frilly choice in clothing and newest dance moves. Dance class is the highlight of her week and her third year into it is showing some great progress!

Give her a pencil and (a lot of) paper and she will sit for hours. She can spell her first name and is now learning to keep those 9 letters in some sort of form on a line instead of strewn in various sizes across the page.

She begs to do "school" almost constantly. School work consists of alphabet, letters, and shapes. Weather, calendar, and patterns. She has one large workbook she zips through and is almost full of her learning! Simple but fun.

I have to remind her almost daily that I am Bennett's mother and she isn't, but she is an amazing helper. Dinner or baking cannot be done without her. I swear she hears me set a bowl down on the counter and she comes running.

She has a quiet (sometimes not!) voice and a tiny body. She is gentle and kind. She praises others when they succeed and loves to tell people how beautiful they are.

We are so blessed to call this 4-year-old Annabelle Rose ours!

R. Bennett Dowling

2011-06-12T21:33:00.002-04:00

In just one (quick) year my chubby, round, squishy baby has grown into a handsome little boy. *Sigh* This fast approaching 2 year old birthday is pretty bittersweet for this Mama.

June 15, 2010

June 12, 2011

Years pass, babies grow...

2011-06-02T12:36:00.002-04:00

"Oh how the years go by. Oh how the love brings tears to my eyes..."

Watertown Zoo Bear Cave with Bennett Summer 2011

Watertown Zoo Bear Cave with Annabelle Summer 2008

Feeling one of those... let's-stop-time kind of days.

The difference between boys & girls...

2010-12-15T21:03:00.003-05:00

Spaghetti night at the Dowlings!

Christmas and Dancing

2010-12-11T20:22:00.004-05:00

One year. So many changes.

2009

2010

Except Bennett's wardrobe tastes and Annabelle's love for her Christmas dance recital.

I love these kids.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas...

2010-12-10T21:01:00.005-05:00

Holidays 2010 are upon us. This little family is squeezing in every Christmas-y event we could come up with before our big departure to North Carolina in less than two weeks!

Have I mentioned how much I L.O.V.E. this time of year? Well, I do. I'm brainwashing my kids to do so, too. Er, rather they're L.O.V.I.N.G. it along side me!

What 3 year old doesn't adore parties and lights and dress-up? What 18 month month old doesn't love snow sleds and cookies and ripping beautiful decorations off a pretty tree? Hmm.

Wouldn't be Christmas without a bit of snow.

Merry Christmas!

God is so good to this little family!

i need your advice. yes, you!

2010-10-28T20:56:00.005-04:00

Now that I'm sporting the brown hair look, should I leave it long or chop it. If I chop it, I'd like to go with the same cut I had in early 2007 (bottom photo). Thoughts?

(And answers like "you look great both ways" don't count - Mom and sisters-. That's hogwash. But I love you.)

Before 'n After Project

2010-10-25T22:09:00.003-04:00

Craigslist comes through again! I bought this ugly yellow chair for $5. And had fun turning it into a fun piece for the living room.

BEFORE: ( Not a true 'before' since I forgot to take a picture before I painted the legs black. You get the idea, though.)

AFTER:

I love love love.

Missing her...

2010-10-21T09:52:00.005-04:00

Missing when Annabelle was just 2 years old, but loving the 3 year old she is now.

Missing even more the Aunt she loves so dearly and my sister who is also my friend. *Sigh* Growing up and big moves are sometimes just the pits. We miss the DePuys...

goodbye sweet summer, hello favorite fall

2010-10-06T20:44:00.023-04:00

Our life, in four months.

We kicked off our summer with Annabelle's June 2010 dance recital. She stole the show (literally at one point). We were so proud!

Bennett turned ONE. Still hard for this Mama to swallow, but he's all that one would expect in a 1-year old boy. He's busy, but quiet. He's gentle, but tough. He loves tractors and trucks and matchbox cars. He's thrilled with drum sets and even received his very own single drum. He is a mama's-boy and I am never going to complain about that. I love every single kiss, cuddle, and hug he gives throughout the day. He's our little lover.

He likes to be dirty. What is it with boys? He dove into his 1st birthday cake in all true-boy style. Messy.
Annabelle and Bennett had their very first fishing adventure. In all honestly, Bennett caught several fish with Papa Dowling's help while Annabelle caught zero. I don't think she cared much.
We all were able to be a part of Aunt Rachel and Uncle Zak Rosser's wedding on July 2nd! Annabelle was thrilled to have her hair done with a curling iron for the very first time.
We spent the 4th of July in North Carolina with the Guevara family. It was our first visit meeting their new cousin, Isaiah, and we shared lots of laughs, kisses, hugs, and memories.
Bennett had his first viewing of fireworks. And loved every single second of it. Annabelle, still not so much.
The kids took their first canoe ride. And the canoe tipped. Annabelle was caught under the canoe for moments and my heart nearly burst. All were well, but we were taught how precious those little lives are for just a split second. (Photo taken moments before the big splash.)
We had LOTS of beach trips. LOTS. We enjoyed Lake Bonaparte more than any other year. I love living near the lake!
R.Jay finished our new patio next to the garage. (It now sports a new umbrella and a more finished look.) We ate out on the patio as much as possible! Iris bulbs were given to us and will bloom behind the patio next year!

My gardens grew as fast as my kids. Bennett had his first haircut which he is sporting in the photo below.
Annabelle turned THREE. 3 seems like such a milestone. She is leaving the toddler days and clinging onto being a big girl. She potty-trained over the summer, her vocabulary jumped, and her personality bloomed. She discovered a new love for all things Tinkerbell and has become quite the dancing/singing entertainment in the Dowling household. She's our star. Her birthday was celebrated in a fun cupcake theme. You wouldn't know by her petite size, but our girl is extremely fond of cakes and chocolates! I love closing the day with this vibrant girl and waking up to discover what more she'll become that day. She's priceless.
The babes hanging out in the backyard tree on Annabelle's actual birthday. I can foresee a lot of climbing use out of this tree in the years to come.
We welcomed fall on walks through Harrisville. Annabelle was enlightened to just how much fun running through leaves can be. She refuses the stroller now.
Annual pumpkin picking was fun but C.O.L.D. Bennett took all the fun in and attempted each activity, while his cautious sister chose to be the observer. As usual.
We had our first real family picture shoot at the river here in town. A great friend of ours did an excellent job and fall has now officially been broken in! Candles are lit, pumpkin bread is made, and extra blankets are out. Fall is my favorite.

We are incredibly blessed. I couldn't possibly say this enough. God is so good to this little family.

how fast 1 year goes by...

2010-07-16T16:34:00.004-04:00

Summer 2009

Summer 2010

Why must they grow up so fast?

Cousins

2010-05-25T16:01:00.004-04:00

Isaiah DePuy 2 months old

Bennett Dowling - when he was 2 months old

Yep, they're related!

Changes

2010-05-03T10:48:00.008-04:00

One little, slow step at a time this house is becoming our own!

2010

2010-01-07T21:49:00.003-05:00

Welcome, brand new year. You've come entirely too fast...

It seems like yesterday - no really- that Bennett was born. Next week my baby boy will hit 7 months old... and I'll probably cry. Just like every other tear that was shed at 6 months, and five, and four... His 'babyhood' is racing by whereas Annabelle's felt like it lasted longer. Then again... she's almost 2 1/2. Don't even get me s

tarted.

The begin of this brand new year marks a lot for us. We're settling into the routine of a family of four. The year ended without employment and is starting just the same. R.Jay has been out of work for 6 weeks now. God never fails. I couldn't even begin to make a list of how much we have been blessed in the last 6 weeks. God always comes through and His kids and His bride have blessed the socks of us. We're happy, we're healthy, we're fed, and we're warm. Most important - we're growing, we're stretching, we're learning, we're loved.

We're in a fantastic new church. We have amazing new friends. We're becoming Aunt & Uncle (and great Aunt & great Uncle!!!) to some brand new little boys this spring. We're planning trips, house renovations, and even contemplating when and where a move will come. 2010 will prove to be eventful and full of fun.

So, Christmas decorations are back in the basement. This little house finally looks like 4 people occupy it... not 20. Goodbyes are said to far away family and plans are set in motion for future visits. We ache deep down to be closer, to be there, or here, or just together. We remember His plans are greater than ours. His purpose bigger, better, BEST.

So deep breathe, big sigh... Welcome, 2010! You're right on time, for this little family's update:

At almost 7 months old Bennett has the greatest personality. His smile is contagious... all two teeth included. He sits up and plays well with his big sister. He laughs, a lot. He eats, a ton (and nurses, a ton!). He's hilarious... no really, you just have to be around him to understand just how funny this kid can be. He's a boy, my boy, in every sense of the word. Already.

Annabelle is a sweet girl. Her tiny chubby arms and legs have changed into the busy limbs of a growing girl. Anything including markers, crayons, pens, pencils, and every craft/creative object is right up her ally. Her curls fall down her back now a

nd I just might snap at you if you tell me to cut her hair. She sings and she puts on dance shows for her audience (Bennett, Daddy, & Mama). She knows each word (and motion!) to all her favorite songs, and often sings them into her new microphone. She knows all her colors and will gladly shout them out to you in the middle of Wal-Mart.

My babes are growing fast and we're taking mental pictures (and a whole lot of digital ones too!) of everything to store into our memory banks. We're really having fun, and we're learning. Most of all, we're remembering the point of all this: we're raising a little woman and a little man. Someday these sweet babies will be big people. Big people, we pray, living for Christ.

What a big, awesome, responsibility.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T21:52:00.004-05:00

More.

Two years old...

2009-09-15T13:40:00.006-04:00

Happy 2nd Birthday, Annabelle Rose!

Its hard for me to believe two years have passed already. 'Time flies when you're having fun.' Fun has definitely been part of the last two years. Along with blessing, growing, learning, and treasuring each little detail in this little lady's life. Annabelle is a girl in every sense of the word. Her favorite gifts at her butterfly birthday party were the things that she could glamour herself up in. Shoes, play-dresses, crowns, jewlery, and play make-up. She even got excited over new clothes. She's my princess. She is who made me a mama. She teaches me, shapes me, and blesses the socks of me. Every. Single. Day.

"...to give you to Jesus, that He may impart. The wisdom that I'm longing for to mother your heart..."

babies

2009-08-29T19:06:00.003-04:00

So, I've come to realize my babies will just all seem to look alike. Crazy. Do R.Jay and I really resemble each other that much?

Bennett 2.5 months

Annabelle 3 months

its about time...

2009-08-10T21:07:00.005-04:00

Seeing as how Bennett is rapidly approaching his two-month old milestone, its about time I put some words down and update those who still wander by this blog.

:: Bennett is HUGE. Okay, maybe not compared to babies in the 90th percentile, or something crazy like that, but in comparison to baby Annabelle... he's a tank. [Official weigh-in on the 17th.] He has bright blue eyes that will melt your heart and sweet smiles and coos you can't help but drool over. The rolls that were formally his thighs are my favorite. Annabelle seemed to have lacked all that insane baby chub. He certainly eats more and sleeps less that his big sister did, but he is already proving to be a bit more mellow than her. Amazingly enough. We're just so in love with all his baby boy-ness.

His birth was somewhat quicker (as in I went in for a non-stress test in the morning and realized in the middle of Walmart we were having a baby that afternoon), although the intensity of my labor for him was much stronger. Two pushes in comparison to 45 minutes of pushing for Annabelle was heavenly. All in all, I was thankful to have done it natural and to have R.Jay, Mom, Heidi, and Gina all there to witness! Props to my midwife... she was awesome.

(singing her heart out at the concert on Saturday)

:: Annabelle is embracing toddler-hood to the fullest! My quiet little baby girl has turned into a non-stop energizer bunny big girl. Next month my firstborn turns 2 (yes, that's hard to swallow) and we'll celebrate with a big butterfly bash with all the trimmings! [Count on pics.] She's a whole 23lbs now and still sneaking by in 12-18 month clothing. I'm sure her baby brother will outgrow her before we know it. She dances. ALL. THE. TIME. And sings. And tells you huge stories you only wish didn't sound like Chinese. She adores...no really adores her baby brother. She plays mommy and eats up every second she can with 'the baby!' whom she refuses to call Bennett. He is just simply 'our baby'. She's a blast, and a handful, and I love her to pieces. She recently went to her very first concert. She danced for an hour and half to The Laurie Berkner Band and, honestly, hasn't stopped since. She's our entertainment.

:: Us grown-ups... well we're busy. As if you didn't expect that. R.Jay continues to work in Watertown full-time with lots of job security (praise God!). If he isn't working, or smooching his babes, you can find him plugging away at projects on the house. Annabelle, Bennett, and I hang out at home or attend MOMS Club events and even manage to do some fun outings together now and then. I turned 25 on Saturday and can't help but look back over the last five years and be utterly overwhelmed at how fast its all gone. 5 more years and I'll be 30. Ugh. 5 more years and Annabelle will be 7. AH! Okay...enough of that... its frightening.

We have a new church! Its still new (as in about 4 weeks of attendance) but we're so happy and we're so in love with these people who are so in love with God! We're excited to see our family grow with this family of God and to be a part of some great things going on in the Church.

So, we're happy... we're healthy... and we love Jesus. :)

for fun...

2009-06-30T14:24:00.004-04:00

2 week old comparison shots of Bennett and Annabelle. They're certainly related!

Because my kids are cute...

2009-06-22T15:13:00.003-04:00

... I couldn't help but share some pictures.

Rushton Bennett Dowling

2009-06-18T18:48:00.004-04:00

He's here! Rushton Bennett Dowling (to be called Bennett) was born Monday evening at 7:28pm. He weighed 7lbs 12 oz and was 21.5 inches long! And we love him SO much!
More later... when I'm not so exhausted. (That day will come, right?)

And baby boy makes FOUR!

2009-05-31T20:46:00.007-04:00

I find it absolutely amazing at 38 weeks (and some odd days) pregnant I'm carrying this little man completely different than at the same time while pregnant with Annabelle. Amazing! Even more so amazing... he'll be here soon! YAY! (Current picture first)

just an update...

2009-04-16T20:52:00.007-04:00

...for now.

Easter was an insanely busy, but joyful, day for us. A few photos managed to be snapped. Check 'em out here. We bought this book for Annabelle's Easter basket and I'm absolutely in love with it. The pictures are so pretty and adorable. Its my favorite.

R.Jay took this last week, so that would have put me at 31 weeks in this photo. I'm certainly bigger than I was at this stage for Annabelle.

And because there is oh-so-much-more to write about and I am oh-so-too-tired to think clearly, we'll just leave it at that.

Our big girl

2009-03-15T19:25:00.002-04:00

18 months old, today! It certainly doesn't seem at all possible that 18 months has passed and my itsy-bitsy baby has turned into a jibber-jabbering big girl. Nevertheless, its happened. And I can't stop it. Despite the countless times a day I click my heels for her to stay exactly as she is. Then she does something new or wakes up and seems even cuter, and I'm enthralled all over again at watching her grow, excited for the next season ahead with her. I love being her mom.

She has an extensive amount of play jewelry that I just don't get. How on earth she ended up so girly is beyond me. She'll talk at you all day long but hardly ever give you a real word. She says "cheese" with so much enthusiasm, it makes it even more funny. She eats at the table in her toddler chair now. She gives the best toddler hugs and never denies kisses. Her hair, complete with some gorgeous curls, is growing at a rapid rate that I can't ever seem to keep up with. She runs with her hips swinging and I hope I'll always remember how silly she looks. She's obsessed with the Laurie Berkner DVD and can mimic every move from every song. She'll grab books off her bookshelf all day long and beg you to "sit!" so she can read them with you. And all the while she's becoming a big girl and doing the most "big girl" things...she's as petite as can be. Last month she weight 19lb 4oz and she's finally gotten into wearing 12-18 months clothes (save for dresses, which she can still manage 6-12).

Yes, yes. I love her so much. My sweet Annabelle Rose.

24 weeks

2009-02-20T14:46:00.004-05:00

So, yes, I'm completely overdue in posting pregnant pictures for this little guy. I think I posted a new one every few weeks for Annabelle, but well, as most of you know... you have a bit more on your mind the second time around. Well, more like on your hands, like a silly fun toddler. So, because of the prompting of a very dear sister, I'm finally posting my first pregnant-for-#2 picture :

24 weeks pregnant for our little man, Rushton Bennett Dowling

(I apologize for the blurry, crappy picture. You can only do so much when the hubby's off to work and this might be your only chance to snap a photo. You get the idea.)

this is our life

2009-01-28T19:10:00.004-05:00

Once again, this blog has just become an easy updating place for those who keep track of my little world through blogging. Rather than interesting posts or great revelations, I suppose I should just try and keep a steady stream of updates going until I can even begin to manage writing some thought-provoking ideas on here.

So updates here they are:

*We're having a son. 21 weeks pregnant... with a boy! Even though its been since Friday since we got the wonderful news, I'm literally still trying to convince myself of that fact. A little man in my house just seems so odd. Silly, right?

*Annabelle is a big girl. 16 months old! She runs all over. She laughs at her own private jokes (since we cannot even comprehend what she is trying to say). She has picnics on her favorite blanket with crackers. She tries to eat with a fork. She adores her father and the highlight of her day is when he comes home from work. She loves plastic jewelry. She stares at herself in the mirror and poses all the time. She just does big girl things. And all the while I'm wondering... how on earth did we get here?

*We (as in Annabelle and I) keep ourselves busy these days with MOMS Club outings. Well, the days this horrible winter weather permits us to actually venture out on the roads. Unbelievably enough, Annabelle isn't a social butterfly. She's shy and I'm happy we joined MOMS Club early enough for her to start coming out of her shell and learn to play happily with others. R.Jay just seems to be busy with work, as usual. We like having him home every evening though, and are thankful he has a consistent job in this economy.

*I'm exhausted. And huge. Okay, maybe I just feel huge, but I'm certainly bigger at 21 weeks with this little guy than I was with Annabelle. Taking a shower, getting dressed, and hair & make-up done is more exhausting than ever. Making dinner is awfully tiresome too. I'll be happy when June arrives. Although, I really am loving every single little kick and tumble. I'll miss those when June arrives.

*Things with our home church have been tough. Without going into detail, we've struggled so much in the last year with church issues, personally and as a church family, and sometimes it seems there really isn't any light at the end of tunnel. Yet, I know better than that. Still, prayers from anyone willing to offer them up for us and our church family would be appreciated.

*After almost 4 years of reading silence, I've read almost 4 books in the last couple of months. Our MOMS Club started a Book Club (which is just another excuse, really, for us moms to get out on an evening without our kiddos and chat!) in November and I'm hooked! Each book is absolutely different from the last we've read. I don't think I've ever enjoyed reading so much!

So, this is our life right now. Nothing fancy, nothing crazy. But we like it.

Christmastime at the Dowlings

2008-12-22T10:43:00.002-05:00

Visit my PHOTOS to see some more of what Annabelle's up to these busy days.

We've managed to update the floors, walls, and vanity in our upstairs bathroom in these quiet blog weeks but busy real life weeks. Annabelle and I have been to way too many cookie eating events. We've attempted sledding and put up the Christmas tree and other decorations. We've shopped and shopped and wrapped up presents with pretty ribbon. Just to name a bit. No complaints, a busy Christmastime is just the way it should be.

I've joined a Book Club with some friends and am enjoying it immensely. The most recent completed book, The Shack, wasn't just a good read, but has impacted me more than I thought a book could (and its just a fiction novel!) More to come on that...

For now... the busyness is kicked up a notch today and tomorrow in preparation: MY PARENTS AND HEIDI & JOE ARRIVE TOMORROW!!! Oh, the excitement!!!

Here we go!

2008-11-30T22:01:00.002-05:00

Click and join in the guessing game for baby Dowling #2!

has it really been that long???...

2008-11-22T20:57:00.003-05:00

My good intentions on writing a post more often are usually thwarted by projects and outings, sickness and exhaustion, or simply...the lack of any desire to really put pen to paper, or fingers to keys rather.

Since that crazy no-voting-for-us emergency room visit, Annabelle has healed up well from pneumonia and the next set of crazies began. After 8 days on antibiotics my pretty girl was covered head-to-toe in the scariest rash/hives I've ever seen. No more antibiotics and a swift visit to her pediatrician. Over time she's now looking like a normal 14 month old and not the child people were gasping at in the waiting room. No more penicillin for Annabelle!

We've plunged into the process of remodeling our upstairs bathroom, which also serves as the guestroom bathroom since its on that side of the house. This means we've only got 4 more weeks to complete our project until 5 Guevaras and 2 DePuys nestle into our little house for Christmas. My excitement for Christmas and New Years would have to be in an entirely separate post. YAY.

I have friends now. No, real friends. Since living in middle-of-the-woods-town you could count the number of friends I actually visited with, on some sort of regular basis, on my pinkie finger. Since joining MOMS Club I have real, live, multiple friends. Who not only visit with me on a regular basis, but make me laugh until I just might wet my pants and who care about my little girl and each day of my nauseated pregnancy. Friends who give great hugs and make yummy food. Friends who pray for me and read great books with me and give me baby clothes. I love having friends. Its been far too long.

Now for the most frustrating thing of all in my life right now, which so many (I'm sure) can relate to. My non-pregnancy clothes are getting far too tight and my maternity clothes are still far too big and frumpy on me. I completely forgot about this stage, and I hate it. I'd almost rather be huge and fit into some decent looking clothes. For now, I'll squeeze into the few things that still fit and wait patiently until I can wear the adorable maternity clothes I've been given for this pregnancy. *Sigh* Soon I'll feel kicks and rub a cute tummy...instead of feeling like I'm just CHUBBY.

So this is what is happening in the little Dowling household. We have so much to be thankful for and even in my frustrations and crazies I realize the goodness of God in my life. He has been so good to us.

prayers

2008-11-05T20:51:00.003-05:00

We spent four hours in the Emergency Room last night with Annabelle. By 4pm yesterday afternoon I knew her bad cold had become much more with obvious signs of trouble breathing, horrid wheezing, and non-stop whining and moaning (not like my girl at all). Our ER visit was awful. I'm not even sure I can go into detail writing it out without coming to tears. So, after a round of doctors and nurses, breathing treatments, an x-ray (which I'm still having nightmares about), blood drawn, meds given and thrown up, another round of doctors and nurses, and bringing my baby home in a child's medical gown, she's being treated for pneumonia. My poor girl. She seems to be a bit better today with the medicine in her system and she napped this afternoon for an hour and a half, which is unheard of for her. I'm drained, but thankful. I'm cuddling her a lot more, handing her sippy cups as often as I can, and pouring prayer over her little body.

In the midst of all the craziness of the night, our plans of a nice dinner and off to the polls were washed out completely. By 8pm in the ER I looked at R.Jay and said "this is really it. we are actually going to miss out on the most historic election for this country." And we did. We never voted. I was a bit crushed, but focused on praying for my sick girl, and praying for our sick country.

We didn't get home until after 10pm and soberly watched as America voted in their next president. While he wasn't my pick for what seemed best for the country, and obviously my vote wasn't counted anyhow, I'm still going to lift him up in prayer as often as I can. I'll pray for his heart and his actions. I'll pray for his soul. And I'll certainly pray for America.

heartbeats

2008-10-30T11:15:00.004-04:00

Yesterday this little family piled into the car and into the snow for my first ultrasound of baby #2. While the idea of having an extra ultrasound wasn't really in my goal plan for this pregnancy, by the time we left that little room I was grateful. I'll be honest, I haven't been as excited as I suppose I should be so far this pregnancy. Terrible morning sickness, unbearable headaches, and exhaustion not just from physical things but medicine (that is supposed to help) had me feeling more like a suffering victim that a jubilant mama-again-to-be. Leaving the hospital, after noting the little peanut growing so perfectly, I felt the needed "umph" to push through and the joy of a life growing inside me.

At one point the technician commented on the healthy heartbeat at 175bmp. My eyes actually filled up, and not for the reasons I thought they would. It just dawned on me, overwhelmingly so, that at just 8 weeks pregnant many women have aborted their babies. Babies with strong, healthy, living heartbeats. How on earth can someone not call that a life? With the election approaching and the candidates on so opposite sides of this issue, it just broke my heart to think of all lives that will be silenced with a Democrat in the White House. Little lives with real heartbeats. So we're praying much, these days, for the election, and praying for the biggest issues. Like little heartbeats.

***EDIT: An absolute must-read.

requests

2008-10-23T14:26:00.002-04:00

This whole pregnancy thing is so much harder than I remember. Could 1 year of a sweet baby girl really make forget how terrible pregnancy is on my body? Yes, I think so.
I go to bed at night not at all anticipating the next morning. Sometimes I wish I could just skip it, but that seems ridiculous since it isn't just the morning, its every single second of the day with a few periods of "relief" here and there.
I know, I'm complaining... and its terrible. So, can we just make this post a prayer request? Not only for my nauseated self, but for my selfish self? Thanks.

Oh...and here is my request for tips, advice, etc.? :

My 13 month old daughter only takes one 45 minute nap a day and that seems like far too little to me. Especially considering she wakes up still fussing and it is obvious she isn't rested. Is this normal? How on earth do I get her to rest more?

Baby #2

2008-10-11T18:29:00.004-04:00

There's no keeping a secret when it comes to pregnancy for me. Second time around is showing that I'll be vomiting incessantly again. Or at least so far. So I pretty much drop off the face of my world for awhile. Nevertheless, we're thrilled and still trying to wrap our minds around the idea of Annabelle no longer being the baby, but instead a big sister.

Wow.

a little prayer for a little more patience

2008-10-02T20:57:00.004-04:00

A yellow toy spoon found no where near a little toy kitchen.
Packing a little book or two for a day out tomorrow.
Hair ties and bows in bathrooms and bedrooms.
My living room slowly turning into more of a playroom.
Puzzles, baby dolls, blocks, diapers, and tiny shoes.

Just some of the little reminders of the little girl who occupies my days with me and fills our evenings with laughter and sweetness. Just some of the little reminders of the goodness of God in our life. Oh Lord, may I never complain while picking up those toy cups over and over, and reading that same book for the eighth time in a row. May I always count it a joy when she wants me, just to want me, for no other reason than love... even if the phone is ringing and that pot is boiling over. May I remain strong in keeping God before me in all her little ears hear from me and all my lips and hands teach her growing mind. Oh Lord, grant me patience for the big job ahead of me.

Today was a real"mom" day for me. You know, the one that challenged your patience beyond some kind of "normal", and the one you feel you've failed miserably at. Yeah. Maybe it was just a "human" day for me.

A small burst of sunshine this afternoon drew us outdoors in hats and coats to crunch some leaves. As Annabelle walked (yes, she's walking) up and down the driveway, picking up beautiful leaves only to let them fall, she found one small leaf to claim as her own. Not only was this leaf small, but it was pretty pitiful looking. It wasn't colorful and wasn't beautiful, but her little hands wouldn't let go... all the way in to the house. Later looking at that sad leaf on the counter I couldn't help but think of the way the Lord looked at me today. Yes, in moments I'm sure I looked quite pitiful and my color for life had been pushed away in the heat of selfishness. Yet, he chose me. He grabbed me today, in the midst of a windy, rainy, and cold day in my heart. While I'm sure he could have chose to care less about this ridiculous looking one, instead his eyes fell on me.

I love that even though I feel undone, I've never been more put together, through brokenness, in Christ.

silly Mama ramblings

2008-09-28T18:27:00.003-04:00

Friday we went apple picking with the Dowling family clan. While the few pictures I took of Annabelle are sweet and actually show her doing a few things other than eating apples, I can assure you that Annabelle's time at the apple orchard was spent almost entirely eating apples. She has her very first diaper rash to prove it, and its a nasty one. Yes, I said her very first. Thankfully Annabelle has proved to be an amazing first child, as I guessed from her easy-going infant days. (Makes it easier to say "I want a dozen!"...okay, maybe not.) She's had two colds in her big 1 year of life, and they were simple, nurse-a-little-more-often, sleep-if-off, 2 days max colds. Never an earache, never medicine needed. She has five teeth and I have yet to see even a dribble of drool, let alone aching cries during the night or throughout the day from discomfort. If you're not throwing some pajamas on her by 7:30 and putting her to bed by 8, she'll let you know. For sure. She enjoys her bedtime schedule, and sleeps peacefully through the night, until I hear from her around 7-7:30am. Sometimes I wake up in the night and miss her. Crazy. She's a simple, laid-back girl...taking after her Daddy.

Other new Annabelle tid-bits: She never crawled. Never. Its doubtful she will too. While she always gets around by rolling and scooches, she's always favored walking. She scales the walls now to get from room to room, and we've caught her taking a few steps from furniture to furniture lately.
If you ask her how old she is she'll hold up one finger and proudly announce "one!". So cute.
I'm dreading cutting her hair, though its needed terribly. Somehow the first haircut just seems so, I don't know, BIG.

birthday photos

2008-09-17T22:11:00.002-04:00

Click on the picture to check out a few more from our birthday girl's first!

Happy Birthday, Annabelle Rose!

2008-09-15T20:26:00.009-04:00

Happy birthday to our beautiful little princess, Annabelle Rose!

She's more joy to our lives than I could have ever imagined she would be.

She's more beautiful each morning, when I walk into her room and see her face lit up with a smile.

She's the gift we prayed so long for and the sweet girl we pray over now.

Today, as she wobbles closer to a toddler and away from being my baby, I can't help push away the tears and just be incredibly thankful. Thankful that I get this opportunity. I get to watch her grow, teach her well, and lead her to heaven. I am blessed.

Here is our girl, growing up, in one year of pictures.

One day old. At the hospital.

Christmas. Helping string pearls. 3 months old.

Valentines Day. 5 months old.

Easter, with Stanley Bear. 6.5 months old.

Pigtails. 8 months old.

Pretty blue eyes. 10 months old.

Today. One-Year-Old.

party mode

2008-09-13T22:05:00.004-04:00

Here's what we're up to:

Getting ready for her big balloon birthday bash tomorrow afternoon. Wow. This is really happening... her 1ST birthday.

And here's what she's up to:

Looking awfully adorable and like such a big girl today. If only I could keep her at today.

an update of doings...

2008-09-03T21:17:00.005-04:00

I can't blame the blog silence completely on busyness this time. We have been enjoying the last snippets of summer (and getting psyched for my favorite leaf-crunching, candle-scented season approaching) with lots of outdoor projects/activities and getting this house back into shape after my almost 3 week absence. We're also praying. A lot. We're talking and listening, not just to each other, but more to Christ. We're grieving with a friend, and missing another. We're waiting on God for sick family. We're finding joy in the struggle and not wasting the hardship as a church family. Or at least we're trying. So yes, to say there is a lot going on would simply be an understatement.

My husband is in the process of converting our fuel oil home heating system to a wood stove heating system. To be honest, the idea of it was a beat of a bummer to me initially. You know, the idea of trekking out in the snow (okay, so its like less than 15 feet from the back door) to throw some wood in the furnace twice a day was less than appealing. Then, I thought of how nice it will be come cool weather to step outside and smell our wood stove. Mmmm. They should make a candle with that smell. Do they? Oh right, and the other big plus is the $4,000 we will be saving in fuel oil this winter.

I just can't believe Annabelle's birthday is approaching. I know. I sound like a broken record. Is it terrible that I'm holding back tears just thinking about it? I keep pushing through moist eyes reminding myself about the sweet girl she's becoming and the amazing things she'll do. Isn't it awfully sad that we can't have these baby moments back? Though, I have to admit, I'm thrilled to be throwing a birthday party for my very own big baby girl. Sunday her Daddy and I will leave her with Grandma Dowling and head to Watertown for some shopping for birthday presents and party supplies. Birthdays are just so much fun!

While in North Carolina we squeezed in a visit to the clinic my mom manages and got a weight/height check for Annabelle. She was 1 day shy of 11 months old and weighed in at 16lbs 10oz (3rd percentile) and was 27.5 in. tall (18th percentile). Its okay that she is itsy bitsy. I'll keep her as little as I can, for as long as I can (like I have a say). Her petite-ness is absolutely adorable, anyhow.

I've completely failed on updating this site with photos for those who still use this blog as a means of keeping up-to-date with this little Dowling family. My apologies. I'll work that! For now, I'll leave you with my silly girl "showing her muscles". (As she does when asked!)

2008-08-17T21:43:00.002-04:00

Sometimes the fact that I can't wrap my mortal mind around God's immortal plans and His bigger-than-me ways is so frustrating. Its overwhelming and sometimes simply depressing.

While we ventured down here to spend time with my southern family, they've headed back north. Well, just my mom and dad. Early this morning my mom's brother passed away. While I wish I could have joined them and given Kim lots of hugs today, I'm trying to find God's plan in keeping me here with three teenagers, away from family gathering to mourn, absent from my husband and home, and in a house that is still strange and new.

Its hot here. Too hot for my liking. The houses are beautiful and the shopping is much nicer, though. Its funny how you can miss silly things like shopping in your own grocery store and walking by familiar houses. Its not so silly house much I miss my husband, especially today, and my little house. I'll remind myself of that next time I feel the urge to complain about undone projects and our lack of space.

On a much lighter note, my sweet girl is 11 months old now. Maybe that's not so wonderful... it means she's going to be leaving that baby-stage soon and heading towards a busy toddler. Wow. How is that possible? Nevertheless, she's amazing and such a blessing. I haven't uploaded any photos here, but you can be sure of a whole bunch in the future.

Wow.

2008-08-09T20:37:00.002-04:00

My sister's stay here in New York has run its course. Bummer. We ate way to much ice cream and stayed up way too late many nights. We laughed until or bellies ached and watched my baby do the cutest stuff over and over. Summer is fun. Sisters are even more fun.

I turned 24 years old yesterday and if you ask me if I feel any older, I'll wholeheartedly say I do. (Maybe its the idea that I have a baby about to turn 1 year old. Who knows.) While saying "I'm 24" sounds like I'm so much older than I feel, my birthday was a happy one. The last couple of years have been depressing birthdays with a miscarriage and a funeral, so a big shopping day with my mom was just the ticket this year. I love my mom.

We had our Lashomb (my mom's side) family reunion today. We're all growing up, married or getting there, tackling big careers, and having babies. (Maybe this is another reason I feel older.) My family is crazy, but a whole bunch of crazy fun. I wish family reunions were more than once a year.

At 5am tomorrow morning, the babe and I will load into my mother's minivan and head to North Carolina for a few weeks. I miss R.Jay already thinking about that length of time without him. He'll be busy installing a new heating system (wood stove) so we don't waste thousands of dollars on fuel oil this winter, along with re-doing our upstairs bathroom and tackling much needed smaller projects. I'm excited for beach trips and shopping in stores way better than you'll find around here and lots of time with Mom again and Dad, who I haven't seen since April. I think that will keep me occupied enough to not think about how much I miss husband and home. I hope.

Wow. We're busy.

things that haven't changed

2008-07-23T10:33:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I still pause throughout my day and watch my baby girl, amazed that she's here, she's ours, and I am her mother. Every day I seem to notice some small thing (or large - like a little person!) to remind me how much my life has changed in the last 5 years. It seems life is an ocean and time is a sweeping wave that crashes and vanishes all too quickly in a constant state of change. That's how I feel lately. One day my little sister was this pudgy little 8 year old, lets be honest, driving me crazy. The next? A 16-year-old young woman with plans and dreams, who has now become my peer. Change can be absolutely beautiful and absolutely frightening.

Then there are things that haven't changed. Like that phone call this morning from my dear grandfather. "Hello Heather Joanie!" It seems that multiple years, a husband, and a baby later doesn't change my status as "little heather joanie" in Grandpa's mind. I like that. Or even, that in 3 1/2 years of marriage my husband still thinks I'm the greatest girl in the world. I love that.

There is a Constant above the insane pace of time and change. A Constant that calms my fears and slows my day down for a bit. A Constant that is so solid, even in the middle of my changing heart. Christ hasn't ever changed. I adore that.

10 months old, today

2008-07-15T16:59:00.004-04:00

Today, 10 months feels like an instant. Why does it all have to go by so fast? Yet, here we are. At attempts at walking and pretend phone conversations.

I have no idea how much Annabelle weighs now. Her last doctor's appointment was at 6 1/2 months old. The babe and I are off to North Carolina next month for 3 weeks, and I'm sure we'll get a free weight/height check at my mom's clinic at some point.

Today we got Lincoln Logs. (This explains the above picture.) Annabelle is enthralled in figuring out these crazy 'blocks' and toppling over log homes daddy tries building. I've always wanted a set and found this big bunch for only $12 on craigslist. Love it!

Summer is super fun. With a baby, its even more fun. So, my lack of posts rests in the excuse of summer with a baby. Moms club events, outings with Aunt Gina, walks, parks, beaches, and more. We're having a fun with-baby summer.

up and running again

2008-07-05T22:23:00.012-04:00

I've returned to the great big world of blogging. Its pretty much completely insane how much I missed being on the computer. How amazing that we actually went through out days without checking our email, browsing blogs, and rummaging through craigslist ads 20 years ago, and weren't bored. Crazy.

Annabelle managed to stay awake for some 4th of July fireworks. Her bright big eyes glancing up at me between flashes of light and big booms along with her famous ear-to-ear grin completed our wonderfully American 4th of July family day. Super fun.

My sister, Gina, pretty much rocks. Its nice to have an extra pair of hands around the house to hold the baby at any given minute. She's goofy and fun and entertains my little girl all day long. She's entertaining me too - you have no idea how hilarious she is.

So, most of the following pictures are compliments of said great sister. Enjoy!

Swinging at our local park.

Staring at the animals at the zoo with her cousin, Riley.

At the zoo, hanging out in the bear cave.

Crazy face. Crazy hair.

Happy 4th of July!

Hanging out in Alex Bay.

Watching fireworks with Nana Dowling.

2008-06-24T08:38:00.002-04:00

Our computer power cord has failed us, therefore we are without Internet - or even the computer for that matter. Therefore, we're going crazy. How insane is it that we depend on this little machine?

At least I have this crazy girl, who happens to be my sister, to keep me company - and make me laugh until it hurts.

2008-06-18T15:45:00.002-04:00

http://www.cornerstonecfchurch.com/

This is what we've been up to lately. This, and the preparation of an awesome sister of mine arriving Saturday for the entire summer. More on that later, though. For now, check the link out and come hang out with us!

9 months old

2008-06-15T21:08:00.002-04:00

Our little 'bean' turned 9 months old today. Father's Day. Her Daddy's first one, that is. As her Daddy smiled big and proud smiles at each "big-girl" accomplishment over the weekend, I couldn't help but notice just how big this little lady has gotten.

*She adores the lake (pictures eventually) and exclaims "YAY!" each time her Daddy swims at her.

*She scooches (yep, no crawling yet) to grasp things out of her reach.

*She absolutely loves books. She sits through each one read to her and even sits by herself trying to flip through pages, looking at pictures. (Sometimes you'll even catch her blabbering on like she's reading aloud.)

*She actually uses those adorable two teeth to eat at mealtimes. So cute!

*She sings to me. Or at least makes many attempts to.

*She'll sit and play happily all on her own, for long periods of time, while I'm busy around the house.

*She holds me and hugs me tight (and often gives big kisses) when she wakes up or just wants some cuddle-time.

*She blesses me every single day, already, and she doesn't even know it.

On a completely different note - R.Jay loved the personalized photo-card I made for him from Annabelle at snapfish.com for Father's Day. It turned out amazing and costs less (with shipping) than buying a fancy card at the store. So that's my plug for snapfish. Check it out! We love it.

shout-out

2008-06-12T15:57:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday to the greatest guy I know!

just words

2008-06-09T13:16:00.003-04:00

I feel like I'm literally dragging myself around this house today. Is it really that muggy? Or could it be how summer hits us like a wall of busyness. I hate that. Wouldn't it be nice if we could press pause. Just for a few days. To enjoy our big backyard and beautiful nearby lakes and rivers. I'm determined to take a week, sometime this summer, and just be us. The Dowlings. Doing nothing but being a little family of three. That sounds nice.

My baby girl looks bigger today. Maybe its the sock-less feet and exposed chubby thighs now that she can finally show off her adorable summer wardrobe. Then again, maybe I'm denying that she's almost 9 months old. She sleeps in her own room all night now. In her own big crib. That's pretty much getting bigger, now, isn't it?

I officially enjoy summer. Well, so far anyway. For years I spent my summer complaining and cooped up in cooler rooms. Now? I'm aching for beaches, and playgrounds, and outdoor warm fun. Its also pretty official that I'm not quite the winter-girl I thought I was. This winter was, well, annoying. Dragging a car seat around in the snow, bundling up a tiny girl, and having to depend on (not so dependable) weather reports to dictate our outgoings. Ugh. What's going on with me?

My new upstairs carpeting is just awesome. AWESOME. Slowly, this house I thought I'd never set foot in again is becoming an adorable home. A home that I, truly, enjoy spending the majority of my life in.

Final thoughts. I visited with my sister - in person - the last couple days. Somehow, each time I get to just sit and chat with her, I feel a bit closer to God. A bit more solid in my role (and high calling!) as wife and mom, and a bit more like life somehow makes sense today. I love sisters. Especially mine.
Speaking of sisters. Another one is coming to visit in just a couple of weeks - for almost two months! How great is that?

ramble, ramble

2008-06-02T16:20:00.006-04:00

Ah ha! Can you imagine? If I stop running to Annabelle's side throughout the night each time she fusses only to hold her hand, so she can drift back to sleep...she will go back to sleep on her own. Imagine!

After losing way too much sleep doing the whole rub-her-hand-so-she'll-drift-back-to-sleep deal, my baby learned (after crying for 45 minutes straight) that I wouldn't be returning to her room and so, she just drifted back to sleep on her own. Now, Annabelle is finally on a nighttime routine, falling asleep each night at 8:30pm and not waking up until 7:30 in the morning. Nice. Now, if only she would somehow learn this for nap times. Hmm.

The gas prices are absolutely irritating. We stick close to home these days and stick to the basics while grocery shopping. Although, I'm finding that I need new, fresh recipe ideas. Each time I find a new recipe to try, it seems I'm missing some little ingredient in my cupboard. Does anyone have a list or maybe even your own ideas on some of the core ingredients we should keep in our cupboards for most meals or even creative ones?

And just for the fun of it... here's the comparison of how much my life has changed from Mother's Day 2007 to Mother's Day 2008. I love her so much.

Hmm...that pregnant picture makes me want to do it all over again. That picture with her makes me want to do it even more. Aren't babies the greatest?

8 months old and pigtails

2008-05-14T15:07:00.010-04:00

I remember when friends and family had 8-month-olds and I would always proclaim how this had to be my absolute favorite baby age. True to my 8 month-old loving self, I adore my daughter at this age. (Then again, if you had asked me at every other month milestone, I would have told you that was my favorite too. Silly.)

Now she's here at that great 8 months and she is her own whole person, with her own big personality. She even has two teeth coming in. I'm not sure when it happened, but Annabelle enjoys screaming and growling for pleasure. Yeah. She sits up all on her own, which is so nice for me. She stands and attempts to walk when someone just holds her hands. She gives hugs and kisses when requested. She has enough hair for pigtails. Pigtails!

I'm loving every 8 month-old sloppy kiss, pigtail, yell-for-the-fun-of-it minute.

2008-05-08T14:35:00.006-04:00

We get a view of this each time we glance out our kitchen windows. After watching this tree last Spring turn into a bit of blunder for growth, these bright purple and pink flowers make me happy.

This little lady is cutting her first tooth. She seems so big to be me lately. Especially with the idea of teeth in her little mouth. Funny.

R.Jay started his new job. (For those who don't know - R.Jay's company is laying off 75% of their employees, so the job hunt began.) While the new job is exciting and in the long run financially better, we miss having him home at 3pm. We now wait until 5:00 with anxious eyes. The plus? He's welding in Massena this week... which means he gets to pick up Sergie's tomorrow night on his way home. Nice.

I suppose that is it. I hear a little voice awake from a nap.

Yay.

2008-05-02T18:16:00.003-04:00

In a week and a half my entire upstairs will have brand new carpeting. I doubt I could really tell you how happy this makes me.

Tomorrow we get to go see a new baby and laugh with great friends, who just happen to be related.

There is a possibility my husband may have a couple days off next week. To say we don't spend enough time together is an understatement and the idea of spending a whole day with my best friend is thrilling.

Annabelle is a hoot. No, really. She's really becoming quite goofy in her little girl baby-ness.

My small lilac tree is beginning to bloom. A little later than others around town, but the wait is half the fun. The other half is a pretty smelling bouquet on my table to come.

Yay for excitement and joy and newness. Yay for blessings and love from a God who is small enough to reach down into my little world. Yay.

sad.

2008-04-24T15:48:00.005-04:00

Its pretty sad how this blog has become a what-Annabelle-is-doing-this-month journal to only those who appreciate the small things babies can accomplish in 4 weeks. Yeah. Its been that busy. Now, onward to spring and summertime activities and we've got ourselves wrapped up in whole other bundle of adventures. Don't be fooled, we're having fun too. I've managed to take a walk with the babe almost every single day of this crazy beautiful weather. We're also busy grilling on our very first outdoor grill given to us and cleaning up our huge backyard.

In the midst of all the fun and busyness I'm spring cleaning in my soul. Maybe the reason I haven't written on here so often isn't my [excuse] to-do list. Just maybe there is too much going on in my heart. Too much to possibly write coherently on a blog. Then again, maybe there are days were there is just nothing. Nothing worthy to share on this big world wide web. How sad. How sad that I can't get it together enough lately to define what God is doing in me in the moments He seems to be shouting at me and in the moments He seems to be silent, but intent on working on me.

In all honesty I need my closet. My space to just be with Him. I need so much more of that lately. Even if that requires a happy baby girl to join me in that space, be it doing dishes or changing stinky diapers. I need to stop procrastinating and start grasping what He's speaking. I need so much more of Christ. I need clear vision and direction. So, I'm admitting it out into the abyss of blog-world and now I've included all readers in on keeping me accountable. Right?

(Forgive my melancholy attitude. There really is hope and joy in this post. I promise.)

On a completely different note, Heidi and Joe flew to Costa Rica today. So pray for them and their adventures as missionaries. Pray for me too - so I don't go completely nuts without any of my family close. :)

Reality.

2008-04-15T13:35:00.003-04:00

Back to it.

To the reality that my parents and Heidi and Joe can't stay visiting in our little house forever.

A reality that my parents have to fly thousands of miles to their home now, which seems even farther away today.

A reality that my big sister leaves for Costa Rica in 9 short days and won't set eyes on our little abode again until Christmas.

The reality of my simple life here in our simple town. A sweet baby to tend to, laundry to stuff in machines, and floors to be vacuumed. Back to some sort of routine.

Why doesn't the leaving after each visit get easier? Why is the distance between New York and North Carolina so much farther now that I can't share Annabelle with them? Why did my sister have to choose Costa Rica and Mexico as home? Or is it that He chooses? He plants. He moves. He knows. He cares. Yeah...

Reality is that my daughter turns 7 months old today. Her attempts at singing are absolutely priceless. The amount she can eat, yet still remain small, is absolutely mind-boggling. The way she claps and says "Yay!" at just about everything she does is absolutely adorable. How she sits still and studies each book read to her is absolutely amazing. When she kisses me each time I ask and gives big hugs, I absolutely come undone. I love this baby woman.

babies

2008-04-10T17:31:00.004-04:00

In our small circle of friends and family, three new little people joined this crazy world in the last two days. Today, I had the privilege of holding one and sniffing all his newness in. A fresh new baby will always make you realize just how big your children are getting. While Annabelle still remains to be a somewhat small baby, it shocked me to see just how big my little girl has gotten in light of that brand new baby.

Wow.

So, welcome to our world...

Hannah Orinda Flack,
Anna Sophie Delphine De Lair,
and Isaiah Christian Thompson

Don't you just love babies?

More...

2008-04-01T07:52:00.014-04:00

lots and lots.

Annabelle's Easter loot.

Her very own basket.

"Is this all mine?"
(Basket from Grandpa & Grandma)

The joy of Easter basket grass.

Me & my girl.

Pretty princess.

Posing in her pretty dress.

Sitting with Stanley Bear.

Always looking for the camera.

At the park. First time swinging.

Crashed after Aunt Gina's soccer game.

(Don't you adore the warm pink cheeks?)

I assume she was as thrilled to be in warm temperatures

and playing outdoors as much as I was.

Our three generations picture.

a few

2008-03-24T19:09:00.004-04:00

Our adorable baby girl on Easter.

Our little family.

Our big(ger) family.

More of Easter to come...

2008-03-20T21:31:00.002-04:00

Annabelle checked in at 13lbs and 5oz. She's 25 inches long. She's living up to her nickname, "little bean".

I never realized just how much goes into packing up this little family of three for our 9 day trip. I actually had to make lists this time. What ever happened to throwing a few clothes in a small bag and taking off for the weekend? I can't imagine what this trip will be like when Annabelle has siblings.

I get to hug my mom in less than two days. I get to watch my sisters and brother mush all over my cute baby. I get to hear my dad say some crazy Spanish word while squeezing her chubby thighs. It may sound silly, but "showing off" my little girl to my family is so much fun. So are my mom's hugs.

So we're off tomorrow afternoon for our big adventure. You can be sure of some super fun & cute pictures in the near future.

Yesterday

2008-03-16T11:13:00.003-04:00

My sweet baby girl turned 6 months old yesterday.

While we were pretty preoccupied with moving the majority of my sister's belongings to our house from Syracuse, there were several moments I paused to consider just how big my little one is with tears in my eyes. Wow. Six months gone already. Six months that have been even better than I ever imagined.

Today she and I are home from church. Annabelle has a terrible cold and cough and this mama decided some rest was much needed. So far, sleeping in and some relaxing cuddle time is proving to be healing for her.

On to the big, little things she can do now:

*She says "hi" and attempts to wave at everyone. Most of the time, all I have to do is leave the room and re-enter to get a big "HI!" out of her.

*She loves playing in the excersaucer that was given to us. She also sits up (with a little help) for long lengths of time and plays happily with toys.

*She drinks out of my cup when I'm having water and actually does a great job.

*She adores her Daddy and of course says "da" much more than "ma" ever comes out.

*She eats oatmeal cereal for breakfast and rice cereal for dinner. Her face lights up when its time to eat and she "mmmmms" at every single bite.

*She's obsessed with hands and feet. Not just her own.

*She's the best shopping buddy. She'll often times have lengthy "conversations" with me all throughout a store.

*No official height/weight report since she won't see the pediatrician until tomorrow.

Half a year of sweet little baby girl-ness. Can you tell I'm just so in love with her?

ideas?

2008-03-11T10:40:00.002-04:00

So, I'm trying to find something like this chair cover for our wooden highchair. Annabelle is so tiny that sitting in the highchair is pretty uncomfortable for her wobbly little self. Any ideas on where I can get one of these without paying an arm and a leg?

today's thoughts

2008-03-09T17:01:00.008-04:00

*Church today was at Pastor's home. With this insane storm came lots of power outages, our church included. So, many of us got cozy and enjoyed guest ministry from Budapest, Hungary. It was great (and not just because they live two homes down from us). Just guitars and voices and babies playing. Stories from across the world and coffee with friends. It isn't a wonder why most great churches started in people's homes.

*I joined a MOMS Club and absolutely love it. Each mom is different and each child unique. We even have triplets, one sharing the same name as my mom. How fun is that? Being at a church without many young moms and living in somewhat of a remote area, I needed some other lets-talk-about-our-kids kind of friends. I'm excited. Now, the idea of Annabelle learning to share & play with others before a future sibling arrives is very appealing. (That's not a pregnancy hint.)

*My sister leaves on April 24th. For Mexico. Yes, the far far away country. I know we're not created to just be part of our little families and make memories. I know. I know there is a bigger picture and ministry callings and a great big loving God to serve. I know. I'm just going to miss her. A lot.

*I bought this for Annabelle's Easter basket.

Here's the synopsis: "A is for Annabelle, grandmother's doll, B for her box on the chest in the hall. Learn the alphabet from A to Z with the help of Annabelle the doll. Each gorgeously illustrated spread features one of her favorite things."

Isn't it just wonderful?

*To be honest I've tried not to think too much of Annabelle turning 6 months this week. (I know, its only 6 months old! How rough will 1 be!?) Mostly because she's our first, and now those first six months of "little-ness" has passed. I try to gobble up each second, not trying to miss any little thing. Though, it seems the more I try to hang on, the quicker it goes and the older she gets. I do love watching her grow into a sweet baby girl with a big personality all of her own. I'm excited to watch her learn and grow. I'm excited to teach her so many new things. I'm excited to see who and what she will become. But, there are moments when I can't believe the freshness of this amazing new little person, who was prayed for before she was even conceived, has turned into the past. So when you ask, "how old is she?", you'll understand why I'll answer "six months" with tears (almost) in my eyes.

18

2008-03-04T17:30:00.003-05:00

18 more days. Until flip flops and capris. Sunglasses and t-shirts. Beach and Zoo trips. Sunny, warm walks with family. Until Easter in North Carolina!

After yesterday's tease of warmer temperatures and today's forecast of sleet and freezing rain, I'm finding myself (rather impatiently) counting down the days until warm weather... for our 9 day stay in North Carolina, at least.

I'm looking forward to taking pictures of Annabelle in her Easter dress... on GREEN grass.

I don't think our dragged out winters ever bothered me quite as much as they do now that Annabelle is here. I'm dying to take her out for walks, to watch her play in the green grass in our big backyard, and cart her around in the cute red Radio Flyer wagon we bought before she was even born.

Is anyone else just going absolutely bonkers!?!?

2008-02-26T14:24:00.003-05:00

I'm really not sure how many of you with more children and more responsibilities have time to post. Ever. I find myself trying to accomplish the I-need-my-hands-free tasks during Annabelle's little sleep snippets and the times R.Jay takes her for some Daddy and his girl time, rather than hopping on here to update, catch up on others, and browse the usual favorites. Maybe it is just a season.

Speaking of little sleep...Annabelle went from two great long naps during the day to 20-30 minute "power" naps throughout the day. Just in the last month. This is the second day of sleepiness for us grown-ups too, as Annabelle feels its necessary to stay up until 3am. Where did my routine-loving girl go?

We've all been sick. Which means the house isn't quite as kept to my liking and we retreat like hermits for awhile. (A rather hard thing for one who loves the company of others.) It also means I feel sluggish, even as I'm getting better. I hate feeling sluggish. My mind gets mushy and my attitude cold. My heart seems distant and my drive fades. I seem to slump into someone I can't stand.

Yet! Today I feel eternity, for Christ has set it in my heart. I feel the weight of my actions beyond this moment. My attitude warms up and my hands get busy around this little house. And now that my baby is waking up from her 4th 20-minute nap today, I'll cuddle her and wipe her runny nose one more time because that is my purpose in this moment and I'll do it with eternity in my mind.

With that said.... Annabelle smiles big and begins to "talk" to me. How great is that?

the happenings of a 5 month old...

2008-02-15T09:17:00.008-05:00

Yes, five months. Where that last month went, I'll never know.

She makes me smile all day long. (Most likely because she's smiling. All day long.) I couldn't have ever imagined just how sweet she would be. She's no longer my daytime sleep champion, thanks to some teething. That's okay. It gives me more snuggle time. So between R.Jay being sick, an anniversary get-a-way, a teething baby, and a little holiday I've managed to sqeeze in some pictures (of course!) of what Annabelle's been up to lately...

Puckering up for Valentine's Day.

Making Valentine's treats. (Okay, so I made them, but she sat happy in her Moby while doing so. That counts, right?)

She's becoming more adventurous on her belly, trying to figure out how to keep those knees up and utilize them.

Showing off her very first swimsuit.

Trying out a great big pool for the first time. (At the hotel on our get-a-way.) Notice she doesn't dare take her eyes off the water.

Three Years

2008-02-05T09:28:00.000-05:00

It really doesn't seem possible that we've been married for three years. When R.Jay comes home from work I still get giddy. Then again, I can't remember much of my life without him. I like him that much.

Our marriage is even more than I dreamed of. God's blessing in my life is more than I could have fathomed. I'm undeserving of this incredible life and wonderful man, yet God intervened and had a plan. I'll never get tired of thanking Him.

R.Jay is, honestly, the most loving person I know. He's the best person I know. He's my best friend. I never get tired of his presence and I'd rather go anywhere with him than with any other. He's a great Dad. He adores us and most importantly, he's completely in love with Christ. I think I love that the most. No, I know I do.

2008-02-03T21:54:00.000-05:00

"I know a girl, she puts the color inside of my world...."

Home.

2008-01-30T14:16:00.000-05:00

Well, we've been home since Monday evening, but we all know how time passes by. A home to get back in shape (not that R.Jay didn't do a great job keeping up with things - much to my delight), a disheveled baby to get back to her "norm", and my tear-inducing migraine to battle. Enough excuses...

Our big surprise trip was wonderful. My sister and Joe had churches to visit in Maryland this past weekend and decided to spend the week with family before heading up to the churches that support them as missionaries. So, the babe and I were asked to tag along. A chance to have my family see Annabelle? How could I say no!? My parents knew Heidi & Joe were coming, but kept it from the kids. No one knew Annabelle and I would walk through the door and you can imagine the screams and tears.

Annabelle was terrific. The 12+ hour drive went smoothly. She even slept better and more scheduled at my parents then she does here (and I thought that wasn't possible). We ate at fun restaurants, shopped with my mom, visited the kids school and mom's work, and played a whole lot in between. We had a blast. We were even able to visit one of the churches in Maryland that support Heidi & Joe (an all black church with a fantastic choir - very cool.). Annabelle had her first hotel visit there, and once again did exceptional.

Now we're home. And happy. We missed R.Jay way too much and he's taking every chance to squeeze his much-missed girls now. Days like today are what I always thought of when picturing being a mom. Cozy inside, safe from the snow and wind and biting cold. A clean home, laundry humming. Snuggling my sweet girl as she rubs my face and we drift off to sleep. I love being Annabelle's mom.

Here are a few pictures from our big adventure:

Chillin' at Ham's (our favorite restaurant)

Shopping with Grandma Lucy

Hanging out with Aunt Gina

Reading with Uncle Sam.

Being silly with Papa Sergio. (N0, that is not his hand, its my moms. Funny, I know.)

Relaxing with her aunts.

Visiting Grandma's work.

Playing in the stroller Grandma bought her.

2008-01-23T08:20:00.000-05:00

We made it! Annabelle and I are in North Carolina!

You can't even imagine how fun it was walking through the door and surprising my whole family. What a moment!

Though we miss R.Jay tons and tons, Annabelle and I are enjoying extra hugs and kisses from extra people, games and laughing, and (lets not forget) warmer weather!

Tagged & Tagging

2008-01-20T14:48:00.000-05:00

The Tag has hit me. So here goes 7 random facts!

1. When the pillows on my couch aren't facing the right direction or are crooked, it really bugs me. I'm constantly fixing them. Weird, I know.

2. I hardly ever change my earrings. The set of pearls I wear only come out when needing to be cleaned. I just don't have time for/think about accessorizing my jewelery.

3. I think any kind of seafood (besides a tuna fish sandwich - which hardly counts as "seafood") is absolutely disgusting. Though, I wish I enjoyed it for health benefits.

4. As a little girl, I used my moms plastic baggies and permanent markers as pretend overhead projectors and markers while playing "school" in my bedroom. I wanted to be a teacher.

5. I've never broken a single bone in my body.

6. Once, while watching my younger siblings, Rachel called 911 on me. Apparently she disapproved of my discipline and the police officers that showed up got a good laugh.

7. I've never mowed the lawn, or changed a tire, or checked my oil. Those "necessities" were never taught to me. I wouldn't have the foggiest idea how to start our lawn mower.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here are the rules for the game:
*Link to the person that tagged you
*Post the rules on your blog.
*Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
*Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
*Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.

Heidi, Kim, Randi, Mary, Jacqui, Gina, and Kathy..... you've been tagged!

a THIRD of a year

2008-01-15T14:24:00.000-05:00

We've got a 4-month-old. A whole THIRD of a year old. As I type, that little baby woman sits (literally) next to me on the couch, content to chew on her chubby fingers and watch her feet move in front of her. Now and then she looks over at me and gives me a big "hi mom!" smile. What a delight!

She now weighs in at 12lbs. (so much for me trying to guess her weight) and is 24in. long. She's a petite little thing.

She's trying to master the art of 'rolling-over'. So far she's made it onto her side. We'll see how long it takes her to figure out the other half of the roll.

She squeals now too. Not so much a crier, she'll squeal and squeak to get my attention instead. Loudly too. She hums as well. I'm not sure why, but she loves to hear herself hum. Over and over and over.

Christmas Eve night our little bean laughed. Not just a little chuckle, but a full belly laugh. Her first. Since then, she's showed off her belly laughing a whole lot. We're having a whole lot of fun finding ways to hear her giggle.

She still sleeps like a champ. She's down by 10pm and doesn't usually stir until 7 or 8am. Yes, she's still napping fantastically too.

She's really a wonderful baby. That said... that wonderfully baby won't sit for too long, you know. I'm off to get her to giggle...

2008-01-12T10:41:00.000-05:00

She's starting to look like me! Not just her daddy! How fun is that?

thoughts.

2008-01-08T14:25:00.000-05:00

Annabelle and I took a walk this afternoon. Her first walk around this sleepy little town. While I never thought her first one would be in January, I'm not complaining. She enjoyed it thoroughly - watching every little detail around her. Content to just sit and ponder- not making a sound. Now she's dozed off after such an adventure. A shocking 60 degree day, like today, is a little gift to get us all through winter.

I'm super happy with how the interior of our home is coming along cosmetically. When we first looked at this house back in the summer of '06, I remember leaving with a big "no" directed at my husband's hopeful eyes. Now, you'd never guess you're walking through the same rooms I'd vehemently denied. We have a cute house. I have a talented husband.

I miss my family. After Annabelle's dedication, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years have passed without a glimpse of my parents and younger siblings, the sting of their absence from our lives hurts a little more this year. My mom and I are now counting down the weeks until this little family lands itself in North Carolina, for Easter, for 9 whole days. Can you imagine my excitement and lack of patience???

I feel a bit stale, as of late. Like the leftovers in my refrigerator that so badly need to be thrown away. Like my attitude needs new freshness. Like my presence at Church needs new vision. Like my purpose in this home needs to be examined for the benefit of this family. I'm quick to pull out my pity-party-hat and complain of my lack of friends, lack of other stay-at-home-mom companions, lack of my Titus 2 women to show me the way, and lack of opportunity to be everything God desires of me. Then... John 10:14 "I am the Good Shepherd, I KNOW my sheep and my sheep know me..." That's right. God knows my needs. I know Him. I ought to know better. Though I feel stale, God brings the freshness, the newness. A walk with my sweet girl. A late-night, God-filled conversation with my favorite guy. A verse to calm my silly mortal mind. So, instead of staying stale, becoming rotten, I've got some house cleaning to do in my empty heart. I think that is just where He wants me this New Year.

How'd that happen?

2008-01-04T18:26:00.001-05:00

How did January 2008 already approach? How did Annabelle hit 3 1/2 mo. old? And can someone tell me how on earth I've managed to catch another cold in less than a month?

We're sick. The babe and I that is. R.Jay never gets sick.

We're busy too. The holiday crunch hasn't quite come to a halt for us yet. I haven't had much time to organize this little house and put my head back on straight. Trips here and there and 'to-do' lists getting longer.

Perhaps next week I'll have time to sit and think about this new year. Maybe next week I'll actually get some sleep (from this horrid cough). Next week I just might have something more productive to write. Then again, that's next week. Who knows what might happen. :)

Baby's First Christmas (In Pictures)

2007-12-28T07:34:00.001-05:00

Christmas Eve. All ready for bed.

Waking up delightful.

Opening presents.

Happy watching Daddy & Mama open presents.

A new spring jacket.

Opening presents at home with the Dowling clan. A new pink coat from Grandma and Papa Dowling.

Mama helping the baby.

Daddy trying to keep her (himself?) entertained while Mama put food together.

Opening her present from Aunt Heidi & Uncle Joe.

What a fantastic day. What a cute baby.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T15:16:00.000-05:00

what we've been up to...

2007-12-22T19:35:00.000-05:00

Cherishing the fact there are THREE stockings in our home now. The newest bearing the name of our favorite baby girl.

Making Christmas cookies. [Note the direction of Annabelle's eyes and arm-eating compromise.]

Tummy time!

But mostly we're doing a whole lot of this. Family time.

daily bantering of a housewife...

2007-12-19T11:28:00.000-05:00

Irritating:

-Our photo Christmas cards not turning out quite as well as I hoped. (For those of you who receive one from us - my baby is not a yellow martian.)

-My squeaky dryer. Although it works fine, it has a constant, almost, nails-on-the-chalkboard squeak each time it is used.

-Losing all my "baby weight" and then some, only to find I've put back on a couple pounds with all this Christmas goody eating.

-My lack of diligence, as of late. Sometimes I got so irritated with myself. I really need to be practicing piano, among other things.

Enjoying:

-Annabelle is in her third hour of her morning nap. Nice.

-Morning devotions and worship with a cute baby on my lap.

-Our Christmas tree and new knitted stockings hanging on our pretty banister. I love having a pretty banister.

-My husband coming home at 3pm instead of 4pm from work now. No more 50 hour weeks! (For now.)

-Annabelle's attempts at giggling and watching her try and sit up all by herself.

-Warm cozy evenings in front of a pretty lit Christmas tree with my little family.

Our 3-month old

2007-12-15T08:18:00.000-05:00

Its so fun to say things like "our 3-month old", or "my baby girl", or "our daughter". We waited patiently for her and now we're having fun. What an honor to be a parent! What a gift to be Annabelle's.

So, our little bean turns 3 months old today. I'm not sure how it can feel like she has been with us always, but also feel like she just got here. Strange. Here are some tidbits about our tidbit:

*She wakes up grinning from ear to ear every morning. She is happiest in the morning and I'm quite sure she doesn't get that from me.

*She sleeps through the night, every night, now. She'll also take a good long morning nap after she's been awake for a bit. She's spoiling me.

*She loves when we do "patty-cake" with her and will try so hard to get a good laugh out.

*When R.Jay gets home from work, her eyes light up and her grin gets big. She loves her dad.

*She has started to get quite clingy to her mama. When at church or other events, she likes to stick close by.

*She has officially grown out of 0-3 month clothing and is sporting her 3-6 month threads now. No official weight/height report until next month but I'd say she's nearing 13lbs.

*Her feet are so long and slender it makes me chuckle each time I try and put cute shoes on her feet. They'll fit length wise, but width wise they look like clown shoes.

*Her eczema is looking fantastic and we're still coating her every morning and night to keep it that way.

*She still sports her "mohawk" with two large tufts of hair, one front and one back. Everywhere else is just thinning hair. Too funny.

So, she's great. She's easy. She makes us smile all day long. We love her so much.

We love our baby girl.

good busy

2007-12-12T14:39:00.000-05:00

We've been busy. Who isn't this time of year? Just like them, we're being busy with things everyone would want to be busy with. So, for now, I'll just update you on us-being-busy.

We spent a couple of days in Syracuse last week visiting my sister. Annabelle's very first away-from-home adventure. Aside from that spicy dip I ate at a cookie-exchange which led my poor little girl to wail for a bit, she did fantastic. She even slept a record over 10 hours straight, no stops for nursing. That was nice.

My parents bought this for Annabelle for Christmas. Though I swore up and down I'd be the mom who would never need/use one of these, I'm finding it one of my favorite items we own for Annabelle now.

Annabelle was dedicated at church this past Sunday. My sister sang a beautiful song, R.Jay shared some beautiful thoughts on Annabelle and fatherhood, and Annabelle was just, well, beautiful. Yes, I cried. A whole lot.

After her dedication, opening a present from grandparents.

We've had many dinners with Dowling family, as of late. Dinners to just be together, to help comfort, to tell how much we love. Its been a special time.

We've (well I've) made cookies and lit candles and read special things to my little girl. I've wrapped presents and placed them under our pretty tree.

We've shopped and eaten things with way too many calories. We've continued working on this little house of ours.

Best of all, we've snuggled. We laughed at our little smiley baby. We've learned new things about her. We've watched her grow just before our eyes. We've watched each other grown as parents. We've been busy... the good busy.

Its been a hard one.

2007-12-02T15:40:00.000-05:00

This week. I never imagined a week could last so long and be so hard. Even the small things, like our coffee pot giving up and our microwave calling it quits, hit harder. The bigger things like my Dad's phone call letting us know he's been laid off work hit even worse. The biggest of all, losing Gary, hit like a train wreck throughout our family and church. Now the pieces are being picked up and faith is being poured out of broken hearts and quivering lips.

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

You should meet my sister-in-law and her husband, Gary. You should talk with them. You should see God in their eyes, the Spirit in each word spoken, and His grace that has been incredibly sufficient in their lives.

After talking with so many individuals trying to place themselves in Gary, Rushteen, and so many other's shoes throughout this week, the sureness of my faith and the certainty of what I cannot see, yet completely trust, has risen to new heights. Not of themselves. There is no way one could handle such a loss, such unfairness. Its humanly impossible. Christ is so evident in moments like now. He's so clear to hold you, raise you above, and strengthen you in supernatural ways. Gary & Rushteen have been strong. I'm sure if you ever would get to talk to them, they would tell you just how they can be. "Only with God." I'm so thankful for the hope of my heavenly home, the strength of an ever-loving God, and His promise to never leave us alone.

I'm thankful he hears big prayers and little (seemingly stupid) ones. Like playing piano for the first time since Annabelle's birth at church this morning, and so badly needing to. Like that song that was chosen this morning, and so terribly needing to sing it. Silly things like a free microwave being given to us and FINALLY finding Annabelle a cute winter coat. Great things like watching a father who lost his only son worship, with his whole heart, a Father who gave His only Son so he could live. Sometimes I just feel so undone at the greatness of Christ.

On a separate note, here is Annabelle in her brand new winter coat. (How could I not post another picture of her? She is one of the "great things" to be thankful for, after all.)

2007-11-27T12:58:00.000-05:00

A great tragedy has fallen on the Dowling/Hughes family.

Yesterday R.Jay's sister lost her only step-son. The sweetest and most gentle 17-year-old young man you'd ever meet. Granted we gained him only through marriage as a relative, but he was as much our nephew, R.Jay's parent's grandson, and especially Rushteen's son as though he was our own.

So now we cling to a God who comforts those who mourn, gives us seasons of weeping and times of mourning, and works all things for our good.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated.

You'll be missed, "little" Gary.

pictures full of thanks...

2007-11-25T18:00:00.000-05:00

So proud of her very first Christmas tree.

All done decorating!

Putting the first bulb on the tree. (With Daddy's help, of course.)

Stringing the pearls.

Being cute as the decorating began!

After the big feast at Aunt Rushteen's and Uncle Gary's.

Thanksgiving morning.

2007-11-21T12:46:00.000-05:00

Don't you just want to kiss her???

2 months old

2007-11-15T14:25:00.000-05:00

How did that happen? 2 months. She's growing and changing and becoming this amazing little woman right before our eyes.

She weighed in at 10lbs. 14oz., yesterday, and is now 22in. long. What a girl.

She has discovered her fist and, if left alone, can be amused by it for quite awhile. She's also discovered her vocal chords. She has learned that she can be a loud talker just like her mother. She adores bath time and will literally try and yell at us when we take her out. She loves playtime on the floor with musical toys, but most of all when her mama and daddy lay down and play with her. She smiles. All the time. She sleeps through the night, often. Nights she doesn't, she is only up once to nurse. She wakes up in the morning smiling. She loves her car seat and loves car rides. When out on the town or on shopping trips, she's an amazingly easy baby. She makes it fun.

She hated her first round of shots yesterday. Thankfully she didn't cry long and never spiked a fever or became swollen. She hates when I have to thoroughly coat her in her special eczema lotion. She despises having things put on or over her head. This makes onesies not so fun and hats just a pain. Her eczema was noticeably better before it took a turn for the worse. So, she now has special shampoo and special baby bath. No more wonderful Baby Magic smell...just Aveeno oatmeal. Although it really seems to be helping so I shouldn't complain.

She's playful. She studies EVERYTHING. She listens carefully. She has a gentleness about her.

She's becoming quite the baby...

2007-11-12T09:45:00.000-05:00

We've been busy. Trips to Watertown, Lake Placid, and Waterloo. Company coming to see our princess and visits to other's homes to show her off. House projects and snuggle times as a family.

I don't have much to say since my mind is still trying to wrap itself around her loss. I know there are many trying to do so. Many trying to put themselves in her shoes, only to feel the knot rising and stomach turning. I hardly know her, but I'm weeping with her, praying for her, and constantly thinking of her. The promise of a loving God and a heavenly home seems so much closer to my heart. I pray it is for her. Please pray.

The reality of our frailty leads to me thankfulness:

8 weeks old

the bigger picture

2007-10-25T14:18:00.000-04:00

Right now, being a mom is super fun. It has moments of challenges and times of being a bit sleepy still, but with all my attention focused on one little girl, it has most definitely been more fun. The house is kept up, the baby is happy, dinner is on the table, and my husband and I even manage to have grown-up conversations still. I'm trying to squeeze every ounce of bliss out of this season and still greatly anticipating the ones to follow. Isn't it silly how looking at Annabelle's newborn clothes and newborn diapers, that she's far outgrown now, makes me tear up for the tiny moments that passed much too fast? I know, I know...she's still small.

Yet with all the fun I'm having dressing my baby up in cute clothes and drooling over her mushy cheeks and oh-so-cute chubby thighs, the bigger picture of why she is in our lives keeps knocking on my heart's door. The very idea that Christ foreknew my daughter, loves her more than I possibly could, and has her future all mapped out is breathtaking. The idea that the world we live in continues to fall deeper into sin each passing day and there is an enemy prowling around seeking to devour Life for Annabelle is real. So we pray. We teach, even now. We live our lives to love Him. When all is said and done, it won't matter how good I was at changing her diapers or putting her on nursing or sleep schedules, or even making her the best behaved child in Sunday School. It will matter where she spends eternity. It will matter if I guided her down the straight and narrow.

So while I kiss her awesome cheeks and show her off at a dinner party tonight, I'll remember the bigger picture.

Just because...

2007-10-24T16:50:00.000-04:00

... she's cute.

(Or possibly because I'm too busy, lately, to put some real words on here.)

Enjoy!

As promised...

2007-10-18T09:50:00.000-04:00

in my last post. Here are just a few pictures of my little "bean" as she has been known to be called around this abode.

better late than never...

2007-10-17T11:05:00.000-04:00

My sweet baby hit 1 month old on Monday. A little scary to realize how quickly that passed and to know it only picks up from here.

On Monday Annabelle, my mother-in-law, and I ventured to Watertown for the day for her check-up appointment and some yummy food and shopping. What a good baby I have! Shopping with Annabelle is fun, never straining... not to mention how much I love people drooling over my little lady. [Just don't touch please. Right?]

She weighs in at 9lbs. 3 oz. and is 20 5/8in. long. Despite her wonderful show of poo and pee all over Dr. Nancy's table, Nancy was smitten with her big smiles and soft coos and forgot such a disastrous mess. My poor girl has eczema. On her face, neck, shoulders, arms, and chest. I hope and pray now that with the cream we bought and doctors orders we can rid of this soon. I remember all too well caring for my little brother as he scratched himself until he bled. Not fun. At all. All in all, her appointment went great and we have a healthy 1 month old baby. Praise God.

(I intended to post some "1 month old" pictures of Annabelle, but blogger seems to be have a upload crisis of some sort. I'll try later.)

4 weeks, already?

2007-10-13T15:43:00.001-04:00

*4 weeks ago, at this time, I was pushing (and pushing and pushing) Annabelle into the world. The "fresh" days of baby's-first-days home are gone and we're welcoming in each new day of growth and blessing, and lets not forget sleeplessness.
*Annabelle is no fool. She gets that if she cries... someone comes to the rescue. So each night from about 10pm to 1am have been met with a fight from my daughter to fall asleep in her bed (basket). She's pretty cute about it too. Although, usually in those moments my mind is just praying for peace for her to fall asleep... so I can fall asleep. Though, I'll praise her for her long sleeps in between nightly feedings. Once she does finally doze off, my little princess has been known to go up to 5 hours without a peep (though the majority of the time its more like 3-4 hours... still great).
*She's finally outgrown her newborn clothes and fits perfectly into 0-3 months. Yay! The few newborn outfits I had for her were starting to get boring. Not to mention I couldn't wait for all the adorable 0-3 and 3-6 month clothes that were awaiting her in her drawers.
*She has put herself on a daily schedule. Every 2-3 hours she's ready to nurse and is quite content when not nursing, leaving her Momma to get lots done (most days).

I love my baby. Not just because she's great, and cute, and well... mine. I love her because she's my gift, our gift. She was placed here purposely and I hope I can live up to what God desires of me in her life.

things i love...

2007-10-11T12:53:00.000-04:00

*apple and pumpkin spice candle aromas filling our little home.

*sweaters... especially since they're not maternity.

*socks and slippers

*the crisp air and leaves around my house

*the smell of things baking in my kitchen and the coziness it brings

*my daughter who smiles all the time and sometimes fusses just for her Momma's touch.

*my husband, whom I now call the father of my baby girl, and proudly so.

If ever I find myself unsatisfied, Lord, be quick to remind me of this life of blessing you've so graciously given me.

2007-10-04T14:15:00.000-04:00

It seems the moment Annabelle was born the clock started moving faster. Days seem shorter and weeks fly by. It almost seems impossible she'll be 3 weeks old this weekend.

Along with snuggling our daughter and adjusting to this new life with baby, we've kept our schedules pretty full. Annabelle has already had several outings to Watertown and even went to the pumpkin patch and picked pumpkins out with her grandparents and cousin (ok, R.Jay really picked the pumpkins - but the pictures were cute). Church was fun, but when isn't showing off your adorable baby so much fun. It felt fresh getting back into worshipping with my church family and digging into a routine with Sunday School again. I missed church, a whole lot.

So, now we're settling into days of just momma and baby, awaiting 4pm to see daddy, and evenings of family time and kisses and hugs. These days are truly priceless.

chubby baby

2007-09-25T15:21:00.000-04:00

Annabelle is getting chunky. Her 1 week check-up (well, 9 day check up in our case) had her weighing in at 7lb. 10oz. We left the hospital last Monday morning with a 6lb. 7oz. baby. I'd say she's nursing just fine. She's also gained a 1/2in. in height, making her 19 1/2 inches long now.

Her soft skin is peeling which the nurse and doctor tell me is from her "cooking too long" and her "little raisin"(umbilical cord), as my Dad calls it, fell off at 6 days old. She eats like a champ, sleeps like a champ, and let me tell you... poops like a champ. I think these cheeks prove the weight gain...

life with baby...

2007-09-23T11:15:00.000-04:00

My cute family.

Daddy & Daughter

R.Jay left at 4am today for West Virginia for a work related trip. He'll return Thursday evening and Annabelle and I are missing him terribly.

Annabelle's first outing.

We took our cute baby to her Mom & Dad's favorite little restaurant in our town. She was a perfect angel. We even ventured out to the grocery store later than evening.

And just because she's super cute... how could I not show you this picture? I can't believe my baby is over a week old.

R.Jay built this toy box within a couple days. His special project for her first week home. Too cute.

words can't express...

2007-09-20T19:53:00.000-04:00

Annabelle Rose 5 days old

Some sweets about my sweet:

Annabelle makes the sweetest sounds. Hardly ever crying, her squeaks and coos are heart-melting.

Her big eyes follow her momma and daddy's voices so well. Her smiles are constant and she seems to smile most when daddy's mustache tickles her little face.

Her big cheeks are extra-kissable and we take full advantage of them.

She loves to be in motion. Her swing and vibrating chair are a couple of her favorites.

She is content most all of the time, enjoying nursing and cuddling with momma, daddy, and grandma Lucy.

She is absolutely amazing.

She enjoys her basket bed a whole lot. She only wakes up at night only to nurse and I can't believe how much I miss her from feeding to feeding.

She has eyes just like her daddy and a nose that looks like her momma's. She's tiny. So tiny. In fact, grandma Lucy made a special trip to pick up some preemie clothes for her beginning days.

My labor was an incredibly wonderful experience. Friday morning I woke up with contractions and had them throughout the day and into the night. Saturday morning by 3:30am I couldn't lay in bed any longer. My contractions picked up through the morning and by 10:00am they were 2 1/2-3 minutes apart and we where on the phone with our midwife, getting ready to head to the hospital. We arrived at about 11:30am and by 4:02 our sweet girl was born.

I still feel incredibly blessed at how fast (and quite easy) my labor was. No drugs were used and afterwards we enjoyed a nice dinner as a new family. I keep counting all the ways in which the Lord blessed us not only with a healthy, beautiful baby, but also with a healthy labor and delivery.

The world seems a little different now that Annabelle is here. There is new love for my husband and I'm using emotional muscles I never imagined I had. This tiny person has brought a whole new person out in me and my heart can't stop rejoicing in the love of God for my little family. Prayers are poured out over my daughter daily, and hopes and dreams are discussed with God continually. I'm honored He's entrusted this precious child to me and I desire earnestly to see her desire Him in return. These words can't express everything in my heart tonight, but I'm sure most of you who read this know just how I feel.

I love being a mom. I love watching R.Jay be Annabelle's daddy. I love my baby. I love my Lord.

Annabelle Rose Dowling

2007-09-18T15:34:00.000-04:00

Since I'm altogether enthralled in my baby

and simply would rather snuggle with her

then be online...

I thought I'd share just how amazing she is

with you until I can put some of these

emotions and feelings into words that will

express God's blessing.

Enjoy her. We absolutely do.

2007-09-15T23:02:00.000-04:00

She's Here!!!

2007-09-15T19:08:00.000-04:00

Annabelle Rose Dowling was born at 4:02pm today!!! She is a perfect 6lbs 13 0z, 19 inches long!!! Mommy and Annabelle are doing wonderfully and resting well. Praise the Lord for this tiny miracle!!!
Posted by Kathy for Heather